Overidentifying.

One of the great things about the DOC is that while we all have an individual story to tell and unique challenges to face, we can tackle things together. We can offer each other supportive words and actions; we relate to each others' struggles; we celebrate each others' successes.

At least, that's how it usually goes. However, sometimes all of that supporting and relating can become... overwhelming. Sometimes the sum of other people's diabetes issues weigh on you like an 800 lb. elephant. And sometimes it becomes difficult to celebrate what others have accomplished when you, yourself, are failing to reach your own goals.

I'm a pretty positive and upbeat person overall. I tend to have enough joy in life that there's plenty to share with others who need it. But, for whatever reason, that wasn't the case for me yesterday.

That's why I didn't post anything here. (My five-month streak of 'posting something every Monday through Friday' ended, and I'm okay with that. Everyone needs a breather.) I felt like I was wading in an ocean of my friends' and my own issues, and the air in my inflatable raft was quickly leaking.

Let me say, also: it's not you. It's so not you. It's me.

Posts about food issues reminded me of my own food issues. (Diabetes in general messes with the way you view food - as do years of "that doesn't fit into your exchange diet" - then add in my own body insecurities, and BAM.) Posts about exercise had me thinking about my own struggles with motivation and consistency. While I am so proud of the accomplishments of others, what I read reminded me of just how far I am from where I want to be. So far, in fact, that the khasm between here and there seems too big to even start trying most of the time. This also got me thinking about that half-marathon I'm supposed to be doing a month from now - and how I haven't trained for it. At all. Seriously. Yikes.

Those things, and some others, began to pile upon themselves in my mind. I'm not sure why I got so down - there wasn't anything really big and bad that happened. There was no real trigger, except that maybe all of the things I had pushed to the back of my mind were now sprinting towards the front. And they were bringing some new friends.

I stayed off of social media for the rest of the day (for the most part). I popped in my earbuds at work, and frankly, wallowed a bit in some appropriate music.

What helped to turn that ship (inflatable raft?) around for me was getting home and talking to Aaron. Even though he, too, didn't have a stellar day, he's a pro at cheering me up. He gave me one of those lift-you-off-the-ground hugs that I love, and we talked it out. We both have some changes we'd like to make to how we spend our time, and we agreed on how to work towards those things.

By the end of our conversation, he had me chuckling.

"See", I said, "this is why we make a good team. You're really good at making me laugh."

"Yep, we do. And I'm lucky that you think my bad jokes are funny."

"TEAMWORK!", I shouted, and went for a high five. A high five that Aaron purposely missed (his hand went wide right), in another attempt to make me giggle.

Mission accomplished.

(We also went out to dinner and saw the movie Paul - totally funny, in an R-rated sort of way.)