You're Not Helping.

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There are some things in life that you just shouldn't ever say.

Do you know the phrases I'm talking about?

They are things such as "Are you pregnant?". I've been asked this by a stranger before many years ago, and I can't understand the reasoning behind it. Isn't this a cardinal rule? You never, ever, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant - even if it seems blatantly obvious to you that she is. Sometimes, we just have stomach pudge and an unfortunately tailored shirt. And when you make a comment like this to someone who is likely already a bit self-conscious about their body shape, you're not helping.

Then, there's "You look tired!". Believe me - if I look tired, you can surely bet that I'm feeling tired as well, which means that I'm already aware of the situation. Plus, I know how mirrors work, and it's likely that I used one at some point today before you brought this up. Telling me that I look tired won't cause me to look less tired. You're not helping.

When someone with diabetes tells me that they have "perfect control", the only thing that succeeds in doing is making me doubt that person's ability to gauge what "perfect" is. Because I'll tell you what - I don't know anyone who has "perfect" control. Not kids, not adults, not those who have had it 50+ years. The variables are always changing, and trying to be your own vital body organ isn't a situation you can "perfectly control". You might have a low A1C - and I'll be totally happy for you, you know? I'll throw confetti and cheer and dance with the best of them to celebrate. That's hard work to get there, and I appreciate how difficult that can be. But please, please don't tell me or anyone else that your control is "perfect". Tell me that you're doing an awesome job; tell me that you're getting it right most of the time; go ahead and tell me your A1C history. But please - don't use that "p" word. It discounts just how hard this life-saving balancing act is to those who aren't in our circle of understanding. And it just drives home the fact that no matter how hard I (and others just like me) try, we never seem to be able to achieve and sustain that. You're not helping.