Justification.

My streak has come to an end - or, it's at least on a hiatus.  I'm a human with robot parts, not a machine, after all.  There's a difference.

And it means that, lately, I'm slacking a bit in the blood testing department.

It wasn't a conscious decision.  I had a busier day, which made it easy to fall out of my routine.  Twelve tests a day became six, and then four.  I've been leaning on Jim pretty heavily, and on most days, he's capable of picking up the slack for me.  (And I'm ever-so-grateful to have him, even if he misbehaves sometimes.)  Even though it wasn't my original intention, I can tell myself afterwards that I'm "just giving my fingers a break".  You know, scar tissue build-up, and the like.  My ability to justify my (in)actions is pretty developed.

But then, there's the guilt.  Much as a parent might coax a child to finish their plate of food ("There are starving children in [insert name of third world country here]!"), I know that I am in a fortunate position.  I don't have a shortage of test strips, and my current insurance company has never argued with me over how many strips I need.  I know that isn't the reality for many, and sometimes I can talk myself into believing that I somehow am obligated to use all of these test strips I'm so fortunate to have.

Or do I need to hoard them for a while, to build up a supply, in case my situation reverses?

In any event, I know I need to get back on this horse.  I need to use Jim for what he's intended for - trending information; and not for what I like to pretend he can do - like giving me accurate BG readings.  He gave me a stark reminder of that difference yesterday, as he spent much of the morning and afternoon in a state of confusion.  (When the Dexcom gives me the ??? display, I like to think that Jim's overworked, and needed a nap.  Or maybe he's disoriented.  Neither situation lends itself to blood sugar math, so I try to cut him a break.)  It forced me to test more often, and I kind of went, "Oh yeah - this stuff.  I'm supposed to be doing this all of the time."

So, here I am.  Getting back on the horse.  Or is it the unicorn? 

"You can do it!  Or else... glitter."

DOC Awards.

It's that time of year again...  awards season.  I'm not talking about the Oscars, Golden Globes, or Grammys...  I'm talking about something far more awesome, and close to my heart.  And pancreas.

The DOC Awards!

There are five nominees in each of the 14 categories, and I was completely floored to see that I was nominated in the "Most Creative" category.  That's really about the highest compliment I can think of (in accordance with what's a big deal to me, personally, anyway).  Thanks so much, all!

If you'd like to cast your vote for this year's DOC Awards, you can get started here. 

Congrats to my fellow nominees, and happy voting!

*Editor's Note, Because Kim Is Sometimes Forgetful:  I just realized that this is my blog's 6 month birthday.  What a nice gift, this made!

Discretion.

I am posing a question for which I do not have a good answer.  I can argue either side it, and I want to know where you stand.

In regards to diabetes:  Is discretion a personal choice, or a selfish act?

"Don't tell anyone, but my pancreas
is kind of a slacker."

On one hand, I can make the point that my diabetes is just that - mine.  It's something I live with, deal with, curse at, and wish away; all on my own.  How I manage my diabetes ultimately isn't up to anyone else, and aside from the occasional advice and prescriptions of my medical team, I'm the one running this circus every day.  Everyone with diabetes has the right to decide, in every situation, whether or not they want to share this part of themselves - and they should also get to decide how and when.  Diabetes may not be something you want to be "loud and proud" about, for any number of reasons - and that's okay.  I totally understand that, and in some situations, I choose to exercise that exact option.

On the other hand, it can be argued that being discrete doesn't serve a very noble purpose, nor does it accomplish much of anything.  As a community, we often express frustration over the misconceptions that the general public has about diabetes.  We grumble, and rightfully so, about the relative inattention this collection of diseases called "diabetes" attracts.  It can often feel like many people don't actually care about diabetes until it affects them personally.  And yet - who better is there to correct misconceptions, to demand attention, than us?  As an awesome dude said once, "You must be the change you want to see in the world".  The next time someone makes an inaccurate or hurtful comment about diabetes, call them on it.  If you want diabetes research funding supported, call your members of Congress.  (I get so nervous every time I do it, but it ends up being NBD.  It takes two minutes!)  When you see the media get it wrong, tell them.  Write a letter; an email; make a phone call - every time. 

What do you think?  Do you view keeping diabetes to yourself as a personal right, or as a disservice to the diabetes community-at-large?  Something in between?

Jackets.

This one is for my fellow Dexcom users.

Several people have asked me recently where I found the skins for my Dexcom CGM receiver.  (I call them "jackets", but I also named my CGM "Jim", so take that for what you will.)  You know, these?

I ordered them from Dexcom's online store when I started on the CGM earlier this year, but that feature of the website has since been taken down. I called Dexcom yesterday to get the official scoop, so if you want to order some of these, here's what to do.

The Dexcom phone number is (877) 339-2664.  Choose option three from the menu.  From here, you can place an order for one or more of the skins - they're $10 each individually, or $28 for the set of four. That price does not include shipping, which will add about $5 to your total. The Dexcom rep told me that it usually takes about 5 - 10 days for them to arrive.

My Jim is always wearing one of his jackets, and they serve a few purposes for me. 

It keeps him protected, both from scratches to the housing (the skins, unfortunately, leave the screen uncovered), and from moisture (like the times where he's sitting on my bathroom counter, and I wash my face a little too enthusiastically - wipes right off!). 

The skins are a stretchy, silicone/rubbery material, which means that the surface has some degree of "sticky".  This comes in handy when Jim is forced to balance himself in precarious places, like the towel bar while I'm showering.

I wanted to caption this with "You missed a spot!", but
decided that's possibly too creepy.

And lastly, they're kind of fun - I appreciate being able to customize, to some degree, my robot parts.  Medical equipment doesn't have to be boring in order to work properly.

They aren't something you "need", but they're sure nice to have.

*Dexcom did not ask me to mention any of this here, though I did warn the customer rep I spoke with that I would be posting the information he gave me on my website.  The middle photo is one he sent me. 

 



What?

When you do "what you're supposed to do", diabetes is supposed to play along - isn't that what we're always told? - but we all know that isn't always the case.  And yet, sometimes you do "what you're supposed to do", and it goes inexplicably well.  Without the benefit of hindsight, you never know for sure which way it's going to end up.

In fact, some days, things go so well that I start questioning the accuracy of my equipment, instead of congratulating myself on my success.  And the last 10 or so hours have been exactly that way, folks.

I didn't take a picture of what preceded this, but I should have - a very ugly spike, up to 359.  For some reason, I chose The Plague for dinner, thinking I could conquer it.  I could not.

I felt tired, grumpy, and frustrated.  My brain was telling me, quite obnoxiously, "I told you so!"  I rage bolused my way out of that BS (and "BS" does not stand for "blood sugar" in this case), and expected the usual rebound low - but it never came.  Instead, I had that flat line you see on the left of the screen all night. 

To amplify my confusion, my daily breakfast and coffee routines produced little in the way of ramifications.  Coffee always makes me spike.  Multiple blood tests confirmed this anomaly.

How? Why? I have no answers.

VH1 Behind The Music: Blunt Lancet.

They were the biggest-selling rock band of the 1990's.  The group known as Blünt Lancet rode a glucoaster of staggering highs and debilitating lows for years, but what set Blunt Lancet apart from their counterparts was the unending, crazed loyalty of the fans that stuck with them, and the scandals that came to define their career.  While the band's line-up may have changed every few months, weeks, and in some cases, daily - the group always had the same message:  "We knew we needed to dial this all the way up to 10, so we gave it our all at every show.  And our fans loved it - I think they would have bled for us, if we asked them to."  After almost 30 years as a band, the group is still driven by a need for their numbers to be "perfect".  "We're not going anywhere."

Today, we explore the agonies and triumphs of the band, Blünt Lancet: the story Behind The Music.

It all began in a quiet New England suburb called Dis-maah.  As students at the University of Twitter, these five friends shared a need for health information, and a panache for puns and trouble-making.  The core of the band consisted of  Simon "Syringe" on lead vocals and guitar, Kelly "RawSugar" on keyboard, Moby "Testkit" on bass, Kim "Pancreas" on drums, and their invaluable roadie/booking agent, Jeff "Lancer". 

The friends formed a band and released their debut album, Control Solution, in 1984, but their sound just didn't stick.  RawSugar suggested the group try a variety of styles, and thus began their journey into rock infamy.  Follow-up albums included the country/western classic, "Blood On The Meter"; a forray into R&B, titled "Rhythm and Bruise"; a regrettable rap/rock album, "The CGM-C"; and of course, the power rock classic, "Rage Bolus", which debuted at 5.6 on the A1C charts in the spring of 2006.

Aside from their musical diversity, Blünt Lancet was also an innovator in music technology.  Syringe partnered with Luthier Music Corporation to develop a line of guitar strings made from discarded insulin pump tubing, and guitar picks from the tops of test strip tubes.  "We'd never seen anything like it - but the concepts stuck with me.  We had to give it a shot.", said Luthier's CEO.

The band's fans, who dubbed themselves "Lancetheads", like to gush about how powerful the Blünt Lancet live concert experience is.  One fan, Dr. Strange, shared his experience:  "It's like they infuse the audience with some kind of hormones.  I mean, the songs just get stuck in your head.  People would hold up their backlit glucose meters like lighters during the ballads, and I just felt like part of one big community.  There's never a dull moment with these guys.  I hope this never changes." 

Blünt Lancet has had their share of difficulties.  Record sales often fell out of their target range at the end of the 1990's, and the group had to wait years for the rebound.  Blunt Lancet added some back-up lancers for the "Use Once And Destroy" tour, which ended up being a waste of money when the lancers got lost in the back of the venue "The Supply Drawer" in downtown L.A.  "I didn't think we'd ever have a need for them, and after that incident we decided that, ultimately, we weren't going to use them", confided Testkit.

Original image credit: Sara Knicks

Scandals plagued the group throughout much of the 90's, which only seemed to spike their popularity.  Frontman Simon Syringe was busted by the diabetes police for possession of syringes in 1995, claiming that they were for "insulin".  Kim Pancreas would often show up to band practices with a hanglowver, and was known for throwing her Ketostix into the audience after performances - she was briefly kicked out of the band in 1996.  Moby Testkit confirmed:  "She could be a real prick."  There were also rumors swirling in 1999 of the band's relationship with some frequent "strippers", but the band's manager woud not confirm or deny the allegations.  The fall from grace forced the band to downsize; performing at smaller venues for several years in the early 2000's under the alias, "Dull Poke".

The stars re-aligned for Blünt Lancet with a reunion performance at the much-anticipated D-Prom event in 2011.  They debuted a new rock ballad, Let's Stick Together, and the band saw their post-prandial record sales skyrocket.  The band plans to release a collection of "overwrought, Fall Out Boy-esque" songs this fall, with titles such as If You Were Any Sweeter, There'd Be A Bolus Involved and I Don't Need Your Alcohol Swabs (I'm A Licker).  A subsequent worldwide tour is being considered, and the band is testing different sites.  "We're trying to rotate, so we don't run out of real estate with this thing", said Lancer.

What does the future hold for Blünt Lancet?  Kelly RawSugar:  "We want our fans to know that we'll always stick with them.  I can't gauge what the future holds, but Blunt Lancet has staying power." 

Lancetheads all over the world are, as they like to say, "pumped".

*Editor's note:  A friend of mine was kind enough to create the logo and album cover art for me in this post - if he manipulated an image of yours and you would like credit for your work, please let me know!  I'd be happy to credit you.

Happy Friday!

I thought I'd throw a note up to let you all know about a few things. 

• Writing a post every day in the month of November kinda burned me out, a bit.  I'm taking a few days-long hiatus from blogging, but I'm thinking about trying to make this a more regular thing after that.  I don't want to lock myself into saying that I'll always post something every day - I'd rather go the route of quality than quantity, and at this point, posting every day would force me to make that choice - but I'd like to post more often than I historically have.  So, there's that.

• Secondly, I've lined up some awesome guest bloggers for you guys.  A and I are going to NYC for a weekend later this month (if you live in the area, and are interested in a d-meet-up while I'm there, shoot me an email or Tweet!), and I'm honored to have these folks lend their voice and viewpoint to Texting My Pancreas for a day.

• And lastly, you may have noticed a while ago that this site quietly changed from textingmypancreas.blogspot.com to textingmypancreas.com.  I'm also wanting to make some adjustments to the design of this site, so please hang in there with me during this time of transition.

I hope you all have a great weekend!  :)