I'm Not Great At This.

I rely on my CGM for insulin dosing decisions, and I wear those sensors until they sputter out. The ends of the adhesive get so frilly they start to resemble a tutu.

My A1C has risen each of the last 3 times it's been tested in the past year. Not dramatically, but steadily. It is not currently under 7%. I have mixed feelings about that.

I make food decisions that could stand to be improved. I order a cheeseburger when I should order a salad. With the exception of the past few days, I usually have a few diet sodas a day. (I've switched to coffee, iced tea and water for the time being.) I'm sitting here eating a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate chips on it as I type this. Low carber, I am usually not.

I don't test as often as I used to, or as I "should". My testing frequency ebbs and flows, and right now, it's ebbing like a boss. I bribe myself with new (not originally intended to be) meter cases to get myself to test more often. (Sometimes, that works. Sometimes it doesn't.)

I reuse insulin pump tubing and cartridges. I fill cartridges from multiple insulin bottles and pens, because I don't want to waste the little bit that's left at the end.

 I don't log my numbers. At all.

There are nights where I don't take my thyroid meds and vitamins because I'm just too tired to mess with it. It literally would take me 30 seconds, but I don't do it. I can always remember my morning ones, but evening is a different story.

Exercise is... well, you can guess. I don't work out often - it's either that I don't have workout clothes clean (lame), or I'm already tired (hello, exercise and taking all of my meds would help this), or my blood sugar is already dropping (or too high, or planking, or or or...).

I often don't notice that I'm out of pump supplies until I try to do a set change, only to find that I've nothing left to change with. (This is where that "reusing" comes in.)

I learn the same lessons over and over... or, rather, I'm reminded of them. Sometimes I change my behavior, sometimes I do not. A lot of times I change, but it doesn't stick.

I don't have this all figured out. I don't have all of the answers. I'm not great at being "perfect" (whatever the heck THAT is).

I'm living with this the best way I can at any given moment.