How Will I Know?

How will I know if this sensor loves me?

I say a prayer with every reading

I watch the graph whenever I eat

I'm asking you why I can't just believe this thing

This sensor's new

Why do I feel weak?

How will I know?

(Thoughts on some graphs that feel too good to be true lately. Why isn't my gut reaction to be happy for these results, instead of being skeptical of their accuracy?)

T:slim Improv.

Sometimes you promptly lose the "keys" that come with your pump - the ones required to loosen the cartridge from the pump body when you need to change parts out - and really the job is only suited for a skinny, hard, plastic thing, so you have to improvise.

Welcome to The Pumpered Chef.

Adventures In Coconut Flour.

Aaron and I have been exploring a culinary world free of gluten for the past several months. Not for us, but for our daughter. She doesn't have any aversions to gluten (that we know of), but if there's even a small chance that something we do can maybe lower her risk for developing type 1 diabetes, then we definitely want to do that maybe-thing when possible. Consuming gluten before the age of 12 months appears to be one of those maybe-things, so okay, sure. There are plenty of good things to eat that don't have gluten.

Sadly, this bread I made with coconut flour was not one of them.

Behold, a doorstop

It sounded so promising; I scoured Pinterest and found a popular recipe that inferred good results if I sifted the flour twice; I sifted the sift right out of that flour and it helped exactly zero percent.

I'm slightly ashamed to say that I took one bite and had to spit it out (I know, so dramatic). SO BAD. Super dense, super dry, super no thank you.

This made me sad, because as my friend Bigfoot puts it:

Before D, Bigfoot love baking for feeling of make something out of nothing. Now w. use alternative flours, more like feeling of Make Something Out of Eight Dollars. And since almond flour so dear, not want make anything crappy. Ever.

 I did get a couple of recommended recipes from friends to try in the future, but I wonder: if you've used this stuff, what's the secret? Was there a secret password I wasn't told? I have half of the bag left and am now a bit shy about trying to make edible things out of it.

Good thing the Rabbit girl likes her fruit and veggies; she doesn't know what she's missing.

Been There.

I'm really encouraged to see attention being brought to the link between living with diabetes and living with mental health issues. In case you've missed some of them:

• Diabetes Advocates issued a press release, raising awareness of "diapression"
• The American Diabetes Association also issued a release specifically addressing depression in patients with T1D (though I didn't like the tone at the beginning; tastes a little blame-y)
• You Can Do This Project has been sharing guest posts written by people in our community who balance the management of diabetes with mental health (if you'd like to write one, we'd love to feature it), and released that group video earlier in the month
• Diabetes Blog Week instigated a flurry of blog posts from around our community about how diabetes impacts us emotionally

It's one of those really uncomfortable topics for a lot of us to talk about, but I'm so glad when we do. I've always admired the way people draw strength from the very things that supposedly make us weak. I know I'm cherry-picking the following quotes; forgive me:

"I know that the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started. 

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places." 

- Ernest Hemingway

I hope that by knowing we are not alone in the night, we will find some of that strength.

#DBlogWeek: My Favorite Things.

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt: As we wrap up another Diabetes Blog Week, let’s share a few of our favorite things from the week. This can be anything from a #DBlogWeek post you loved, a fantastic new-to-you blog you found, a picture someone included in a post that spoke to you, or comment left on your blog that made you smile. Anything you liked is worth sharing!

* * * * *

So I'm a day late; who cares, so what. 

Lots of things to like about Diabetes Blog Week; here are but a few:

• Very long, scroll scroll scroll list of participants!
• Try not to drool.
• Thanks for the connection, Scott.
• When people hurt, I hurt too.
• Scott is sharply dressed.
• Recycling! (Psst - you can also use pliers)
• Epic poem.

Thanks go to Karen Graffeo for once again organizing Diabetes Blog Week - I know it has to be a bit like herding cats, but we appreciate what you do so much, Karen. I love it when we all focus on something together!

#DBlogWeek: Saturday Snapshots.

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt: Back for another year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like! With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures. Post as many or as few as you’d like. Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

* * * * *

A couple of highlights from the past couple of days:

The Rabbit takes a nap; the Billy wishes it was a two-creature stroller

It only took me three years to finally get around to applying!

#DBlogWeek: Mantras And More.

Today's prompt: Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day. Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day. Is there something positive you tell yourself? Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through? Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost? Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too?

Find out more about Diabetes Blog Week here.

* * * * *

I thought about skipping this topic, because, you know.

However, there are certainly things I do to cheer myself up in a bad diabetes moment (more of the "More" than the "Mantra", I guess):

• Instagram or tweet whatever crap is happening and feel comforted and amused by the emoji-filled replies of those who get it
• go read blogs like Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes or i have the sugars or Typical Type 1
• try to think of something to post on Diabuzzfeed and probably not succeed but feel amused anyway
• refocus my energy into planning for FFL and related exhibit space for You Can Do This Project this summer (mentally waves at Glucolift across the hall)
• remember that whatever issue I'm having, it's temporary and one little speck of dust in the universe of my diabetes history

Bingo. That last one.