It's A Scary Place.

I'm writing this at a time when I've usually been asleep for a couple of hours, so bear with me.

I read this post from Jeff, and it got me thinking about the choices and trade-offs we make as people with diabetes. It got me thinking about the way that everyone's pathology is a little different, and how we all have different capabilities, resources, and preferences when it comes to how we maintain our health.

It got me thinking about how no matter what we choose - whether it's food, medication, delivery of that medication, timing of injections, amount (or lack) of exercise - we never really know if what we chose was right.

The unknown is a scary place to be pedaling toward, especially when it comes to your health.

For instance, I've been known to enjoy a Splenda packet or nine with my morning coffee allotment. I do that to avoid bolusing, to avoid excess sugar intake, and frankly I do it because artificial sweeteners were what I grew up using. (Real sugar didn't fit into that "exchange diet" too well. And by that, I mean not at all.) Those advantages are great, until I read an article on MSN about how I'm polluting the earth's water supply with my post-coffee pee. What if sucralose ends up being what does me in? (And how ironic would that be?)

It happens with every decision we make. Do I go low-carb, or eat how I want to eat and just dose for it? Do I aim for a smaller standard deviation of blood sugar, which may run higher, or aim lower and risk the hypoglycemic excursions? Do I exercise, even when I know I'm going to have to inhale all of those calories right back? Is it worth it?

How do we know that any of these decisions we make will ensure good health, and even if they do, for how long?

We'll spend our whole lives not knowing, until the one moment that we finally do.

It's a scary place.