I Don't Give A Sheet.

I dare you to not care what other people think about your diabetes.

Be fearless with me!

Shake It Out.

It's Monday morning, which may mean that you need some cuteness to get your day going. Enjoy watching our dog shake his tailfeather and repeatedly nosedive into the bathmat.

Awesomeness.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to the prettiest overnight graph I've seen for some time.

And later that day, I received this sign at work (which is now hanging in my gray castle cubicle):

I feel like these two things must be somehow related - like the universe was winking at me, just a little.

The Wishing.

Staring longingly at the food we wanted to eat half an hour ago. That number hasn't come down yet. Correction? Walk? Failed site? Time? When will I finally get to eat?

Waiting.

This could be the results of years with diabetes, or maybe it was one of the other conditions, or maybe it's genes, or maybe it's dumb luck. What do I do now? How do I know what the right answers for me are? Do other people feel this way, too? How many other people are going through this and not talking about it?

Wondering.

I don't know what this means for my future. What do I try? What have others done? What effect will this have on me; on the ones I love? Am I stuck on this path, or can I alter it? Will what I decide make any difference in my outcomes? Is this giving up? Am I doing everything I can? Giving it my best?

Worrying.

I never wanted this; not for me, not for you. No one should have to do this alone. I want to fast-forward to the day this gets plucked away, like petals from a flower.

Wishing.

At times, it feels like that's all this is - waiting; wondering; worrying.

What pulls me out is hope. The sharing; the bond. The reminder that life doesn't operate on anyone else's timeline, and negativity won't bring it to now any faster.

But the last? The last I'll keep. I'll keep the wishing.

For me, for you.

Blue Heels: The Diabetes Advocate's Weapon.

I drew a little something for my friends over at the Blue Heel Society and it went live today, so go take a look!

And here's a little bit about the organization, in their words:

This organization is dedicated to all people living with, caring for, or interested in diabetes. The Blue Heel Society was formed on November 13th, the eve of World Diabetes Day, 2011 by a dedicated trio of spirited advocates who committed themselves to promoting awareness, pursuing the continued fight for a cure, highlighting obstacles people diagnosed with diabetes are faced with, and promoting advocacy for the diabetes community as a whole.

The Blue Heel Society accomplishes this NOT by raising funds, but by fueling our crusade with the strength, dedication, and passion of our partners.

Rock on!

Wait, You Do That Yourself?

When I first started using a Dexcom, I exclusively utilized my stomach for sites. I was simultaneously placing insulin pump infusion sites on the belly region as well, so as you might guess, I started to run out of "good" real estate. There are only so many places you can put those things, and I was growing frustrated. And itchy.

It wasn't until I started finding other people with diabetes (and Dexcoms) online that I learned of other places those little gray suckers can go: hips, side-butts, lower back, legs and arms. I tried each new terrain and found success, but saved the arms for last. More honestly, I procrastinated trying them as long as I could self-justify, because the idea of wearing a sensor there freaked me out. What if I did it wrong? (I haven't, yet.) What if I kept knocking the transmitter on door frames? (That happens. The sensor still survives.) What if it was completely inaccurate, and I end up wasting a sensor? (Again, no. The arm sites actually seem more accurate to me than other sites.) What if the adhesive sticks to my shirt sleeve, and I rip it off while getting dressed in the morning? (Hasn't happened... yet.) What if some stranger comes up and starts fondling it? (Yep - it happened.)

A few months back, I finally summoned the courage needed to give an arm site the old college try. My heart raced. WHAT IF I HIT A NERVE AND RUIN THIS ARM? (I didn't. And I've never heard of it happening, either.)

Turns out arm sites are NBD. They are so much so that I'm wearing them more often than any other site, and enjoying that "out of the way" feeling they provide me. I've also discovered that I don't need to call in my husband reinforcements when jabbing a new sensor in - I can handle this myself, like a real grown-up lady, thankyouverymuch.

There may be some who wonder, "How?" And for you, I made this.

Splenda Tastes Gross To Me, And It's All International Delight's Fault.

As I have for the past few seasons, I've been borderline-stalking the dairy section of Walmart in search of the best coffee creamer I've ever had the pleasure of guzzling.

It looks like this:



My supply from last year. If you find this stuff, will you
let me know? I will pay shipping. And I will send a fleet
of invisible monkeys who will do your house cleaning
while you sleep. No, wait, that's probably way more creepy
than helpful. Forget that last part.


This year, however, it would seem that International Delight doesn't want me to revel in their mint-and-mocha goodness. If I could have found a store that actually stocks (instead of their website saying they do, but the local store saying they don't) this sweet nectar, I would have bought out their supply in a heartbeat.

It's partly because of this inventory fail, and partly because on a whim I tried a non-sweetened latte a few weeks back and really dug it, that I've started transitioning to this person who drinks non-fancy coffee. I've historically been a "I'd like sugar and milk with a side of coffee, please" type of coffee drinker for a good long while now. I don't order black coffee, EVER, so this is a little huge for me.

And oh yeah, there was that article on MSN that totally freaked me out about my sweetener of choice, calling it "one of the worst" out there. (It also said that Truvia is one of the better ones - and so I now have a jar of that at home. It isn't as bad as I remembered it being the first time I tried it. It's pretty okeh!)

The bottom line is that I haven't added Splenda or sugar-free syrups to much of anything for the last two weeks, and I'm a little amazed at how much I don't currently miss it. In fact, I added a couple packets to my coffee the other day - just to see how it would taste - and I actually made an "Eww!" face.

2012 is the year I plan to make some good, but not foolproof, changes in life. My choice of coffee condiments might seem an insignificant alteration, but I think it's as good a place as any to begin.